One thing I've learned in the past year is that there is no easy way to tell a painful story. However... the more you tell it, the easier it flows from your tongue, and though the pain still lingers at parts, the audience recieves a taste of the emotions that my heart has gone through, the most amazing of which is freedom.
I attend a women's Bible study on wednesday nights (well...my attendance is a bit spotty, but I go when I can) and are going through the book of Esther, using curriculum and a video by Beth Moore. This past wednesday, we talked about the reversal of destiny. Beth describes the reversal of destiny as, "...where what appeared to be the future is suddenly changed by an intervention that can only be divine." We talked about the pivoting points at which someone's life is changed completely, and how that happens. For Esther, it happens when she is thrust into Persian royalty and had to take matters of her country into her own hands. Her destiny was drastically altered when she was plucked off the streets and sent to the palace... then again, when she learned of the treachery Haman was plotting against her people. Esther didn't know what was going to happen, she didn't know that she would be in a place of great power with the king, where she was the only one who could appeal to him for the lives of the Jews. She didn't know what was going to happen once she stepped up and approached the king to save her people.
What blows me away is that, even though Esther didn't know what was going to happen--she didn't know if she would be alive by the end of the day--she went for it anyways. Esther was called to obediance, and she followed through with her calling. She didn't have to know how it was all going down, but when she obeyed, her future was once again drastically altered.
I've never paid much attention to the book of Esther before, but now I can relate a bit. I haven't been crowned queen or anything, but my future has been drastically altered through obediance. You may not know my full story, and I may share it someday on this blog, but all you need to know at the moment is that my past has been incredibly trying. I've been through things that young women, little girls, should never have to go through. I was lost in anger and frustration and fear for a long time. Within the past year (more specifically, the past 7 months) I have given my entire life up to God in a new and fresh way.
Through this process, I have experienced a complete reversal of everything in my life... a complete reversal of destiny, that could only be orchestrated by Him! My thoughts have turned from myself to others, my attitude has changed from self-seeking to serving others, and my future... that scares the crap out of me. I feel God calling me to an area of ministry that I know will be incredibly challenging, but also incredibly rewarding and beautiful. My future before encountering God's presence consisted of going to a community college and working my tail off at a dead-end job. My life seems to have done a complete 180, and I can only attribute that to GOD'S UNFAILING GOODNESS!
I can't completely capture my appreciation and love for Him and the work that He has done in my life in this blog post, it all sounds like rambling sentences, but I can say that I am captivated. And the fact that He loves me (he loves YOU) enough to completely turn me around... that speaks amazing volumes. I am in awe.
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