Oh What a Day is Today!

You ever have those moments where you're sitting somewhere (this time I happened to be in a crowd of people, in the middle of church) and you get a thought that just completely blows your mind? I was walking to my chair during church after grabbing a cup of coffee and filling my water bottle, had almost made it, and one of those thoughts hit me.

Before I go further, you have to realize that I'm not the most graceful person on the face of the planet. One of my friends tells me that I have "helmet and crayons" moments. I always seem to wind up in awkward or messy situations. (Like getting mashed potatoes in my hair and steak in my eye (what?!) during a date in high school... who does that?) Also, we have a pretty small church, ranging from about 100-175 people, in a room smaller than a gym, where you can hear everything that's going on.

Anyways, earlier today I'm almost to my seat, cup of coffee (no lid... bad choice) in hand, and am about to slip into my row of chairs when one of those mind-blowing thoughts hits me. It's so mind-blowing that I decide to drop my water bottle. In the middle of church. While the pastor is talking.

As I drop my water bottle, the hand holding the cup of coffee jerks a bit, and hot coffee splashes over the rim and drenches my fingers. I stable it with the other hand, effectively drenching that one in coffee as well (I'm still standing in the middle of the aisle, and people are staring. And I'm getting coffee everywhere, including all over my forehead as I wipe my hair out of my eyes) and I can't figure out how to get my water bottle off of the ground without flashing everyone because I'm wearing a short-ish dress, so I just sit down in the nearest chair, giggling hysterically as my friends around me are all trying to contain their laughter and my pastor is trying not to be distracted.

Thankfully an older gentleman across the aisle retrieved my water bottle for me, and I was able to find something to wipe my hands (and forehead) off with. 

Point of story: Life is messy.

I can't share the realization I had at the moment, because I can't put it into words, but you'll probably get that later this week. For now though, it's been amazing to realize just how human I am today. I have not had one non-awkward day this entire week, though I think today was by far the most hilarious. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm looking through lenses that are slightly out of focus and a little off, and maybe the frames are bent and they don't fit right over my eyes. I feel like life is a little like that--disjointed and battered, and if you focus on one thing for too long it just starts to hurt and make you dizzy. 

Basically, I just want to tell you not to worry about it. Life is messy. I know I am messy! (Ask any of my old roommates...) And if you focus too hard, or try to do everything at once, you might end up like I did today; in the middle of a crowd, at a loss for what to do, too overwhelmed to do anything but laugh (or cry), and completely embarrassed. So don't worry about it. Go with it, give it to God, and let Him be the one who directs you. Learn to laugh at yourself and your mistakes, and take them in stride. Easier said than done, yes, but it's worth it. 

Don't worry about it. :)