Belize. Laughter. Mosquitoes.

All I hear is laughter. It's like I've stepped into a realm of joy, and I've been told my presence brings the promise of more.

Being back in Belize is a breath of fresh air. Seeing those whom I'd previously met here as well as forming friendships with the new staff members who are coming in to DP this next season has been incredible! There are four new staff members; myself included. David, Dallas, and Zoe are all new this year, the boys did their DTS with DP this past January, while Zoe's was in 2008 while Destination Paradise still had their boats.

I've been here almost a full week, as I arrived last Tuesday morning. The past week has been spent settling into this new space and getting to know the rest of the staff here. Zoe and I spent a few mornings sanding and painting bunk beds that Rene, one of the other staff members, built for the students. It was hot, sweaty work and took us three days to finish six beds, but it was so fulfilling! It wasn't hard work, but we were productive and it was fun to bond and laugh with Zoe while we worked.

Today we started staff training week and I think the next few days will be amazing. It's beautiful hearing the hearts of these incredible people, coming together in the name of our Father, working towards one common goal. We're preparing for 34 students to arrive on base and praying that as they arrive, the presence of Jesus would be tangible to them on base.

Please join in prayer with us as we ask Jesus to prepare our hearts to be His hands and feet, as we prepare to give our all to these kids, pouring out His love and grace over them and walking with integrity and strong character as we lead.

I'm excited for the students to arrive. A little nervous if I'm honest, but mostly stoked to be a part of their lives and have the opportunity to speak truth and freedom and love over the lives of these young people. I know Jesus will blow them away with His presence and His intense, graceful, beautiful love. I know He will challenge me in ways I might not have been challenged before. I am so excited to see how He decides to lead this next school!

Being on staff definitely has a different quality to it than coming in as a student. I absolutely love bonding with the staff--laughing with them, watching movies, snorkeling, cooking, swimming, reading, discussing... Every bit of it. Like I said earlier; joy prevails here. Laughter doesn't seem to stop, and there are so many opportunities I claim joy in every situation, it's amazing. It blows me away that already God is opening me to things I hadn't realized before coming here, things He's been trying to teach me all summer that I'm finally realizing.

He is so good, the way He loves unconditionally and doesn't condemn. His patience with me is astounding!

Anyhow, these are just a ton of random thoughts and snippets of life since I've been here. I'll write more this week, I just wanted To put something out so you all know I'm doing well so far. T

Adventure is Out There!

One of the most exciting realizations I've had is that Jesus LOVES adventure! He LOVES taking me places I've never been. He LOVES sharing in the challenges that arise in the unknown waters, and He absolutely LOVES it when I invite Him to do more than just participate-- but to lead.

It's time for another adventure with my Daddy, and I can't explain how excited I am!

In about 13 hours I'll be boarding my first flight on my journey to Belize. Tomorrow evening, I'll be sitting in God's presence, listening to the water against the dock and looking into the blackness over the sea, inhaling the salty tropical air that my lungs so dearly love. I'll be laughing, talking, bonding with the rest of the staff members; some of which I know, others I'll be meeting for the first time. I'll be unpacking and getting ready for the next few months, settling down in my new home and learning to be comfortable there again.

JESUS IS GOOD. My heart has been drawn to Belize since I left, and only my Daddy knew I'd go back. He knew when I'd leave, and how perfect the timing would be, and how much money I would need, and how many people would donate or help with fundraisers or give me jobs. He knew that last night I'd be sad about leaving home and family, and He knew which songs I needed to hear to realize that only He can bring peace, only He can be my comfort. He is so good. I can't say it enough.

I am so excited to go on this adventure with Jesus. I am so excited for Him to break me, teach me, lead me, love on me. I am so excited to be in a place where I need to lean on Him every moment of every day, because my words are not enough, my actions fail, and my heart is selfish. But HE... He is perfect. He will speak, and His heart will shine through this frail human body and man... He will create some amazing, beautiful light in this world. I am so excited for Him to work; for Him to love, and love, and love, and love.

He is so good.

One-Way Ticket. Jesus is Gooooood.

I am three or four days from leaving this wonderful Island of Whidbey to head to another island that holds a precious warmth in my heart: the island of San Pedro, Belize. My heart constricts when I think of leaving my family behind indefinitely, of parting ways with my friends and those who I have grown up with. But the excitement and anticipation is even greater than the sadness.

I shared my testimony one week ago at my church, baring my heart to the community and inviting my audience to join me in worship with our Jesus after my story was told. My life has been one of pain and confusion, but Jesus has been faithful, and has never stopped loving on me. His breath has sweetened over me this past year; His presence has become more tangible, His voice more audible. 

One of my sisters was praying over me yesterday and as she was praying, one of the phrases she spoke to our Daddy caught me off guard, took my breath away.

"Daddy, thank You that our past is not just in the past, but that You are continuing to use it right now, and You will continue to use it in the future." That's not word-for-word, but that's the basic gist of what she said.

Jesus continues to use my past, my faults, my flaws, to bring Himself glory, and to heal this land. He's giving me the opportunity to take these experiences and to spread His love and His life in Belize. He's calling me to speak His good word over the hurting, the poor, the captive, the broken, the speechless, the weary, the angry, the rich and the powerful. He's taking me near to His heart and He is inviting me into His presence.

I have the wonderful opportunity to be on staff at YWAM Destination Paradise in Belize this next September. I'll be a small group leader to 9 girls. I will have the opportunity to speak Jesus' love into their lives, to listen to them, to be there for them, to love on them. I will have the privilege of teaching, of helping with team-building activities. But best of all, I will be doing what Jesus is calling me to do.

I'm headed to Belize in about three or four days. I'm buying a one-way ticket. I don't have the money for my plane ticket yet. But I believe. I believe He will provide, even if it's in the last moment. I've put a ticket on hold with American Airlines. It will only hold for 24 hours.

It costs $481.68.

Jesus has $481.68. I trust Him. I know that this is where I am supposed to be, and I know that He will provide, whether through people, or through a miracle. HE IS FAITHFUL.

Jesus, I surrender my financial state to You. I surrender every fear to You. I trust You. I trust You.

"I will depend on You. All of my hope is in You. I will depend on You.

I will have faith in You. All of my hope is in You. I will depend on You."

-United Pursuit Band

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I would love for you to join me in missions and in carrying out Jesus love! If you would like to partner with me in prayer, or financially, or just want to stay updated on what's going on in my life/walk with Jesus, please e-mail me for more information!

friedchicken177@gmail.com

Walking Forward.

My deepest fear is that I'll forget.

That I'll forget what's happened to me in the past year. That the memories will fade, and that I won't be able to recall the moments of bliss, of pain, of healing and of realization that I've experienced. I'm afraid that the relationships I've made will change, that they will fall away and become little more than dust. I'm afraid that I'll forget what my Jesus did for me, that I'll forget what it was like to live without Him, and that I'll slowly fall into a pattern of apathy regarding my relationship with Him.

And I've been letting this fear drive me. I've been re-living and writing down and going over and looking through the memories, whether in pictures or in my brain and heart, and I've been documenting them as best as I can. But, through this, I've lost sight of the road I'm on.

I was talking with a friend the other night, and in our conversation he mentioned that I seemed like the kind of person who looks to the past more than the future. I answered by saying, essentially, that I have a mix of both... but now that I've thought about it, I think he's right. I've spent too much time looking back while walking forward, and today I stumbled.

I can't explain what happened exactly, but I realized that I've been ignoring what Jesus has been trying to teach me and where He's been leading me recently. And I don't like that.

Not one bit.

I think it's time for me to stop running in circles and focus on what He has for me, and while I can keep a healthy perspective of the past and a healthy outlook on the future, I need to be here, now, with Him, doing what He's calling me to do.

So that's my plan--not to plan, to let Him direct, to let Him do what He does best, and lead me.

And as for forgetting, I think He created the brain for a reason. I have the mental capacity to remember, so... I don't need to worry about it.