I trust...Sometimes.

I trust.

I trust the chair I'm sitting in to hold me. 

I trust the floor I walk on to carry my weight.

I trust the water I drink and the food I consume to keep me alive.

But do I trust God?

I have a hard time trusting that He will take care of me. And so today, I'm taking a step of faith. I had a lengthy conversation with Him this morning about my lack of funds, and I kept hearing Him say, 

"Trust me." Not a suggestion. Not a casual, "Hey, Em, maybe you should trust me a little more. Think you can do that?" But a sincere, peace-filled, I-Know-What-I'm-Doing statement. 

"Trust me." And so I am. I'm trusting that He will provide the money I need to pay staff fees/visa renewal, and general living costs. I asked Him this morning if He would provide just enough, and heard Him replying to me;

"How much do you want?"

Well, God. I need enough for staff fees. It'd be nice to pay off a few months in advance so I don't need to worry about it... but I'll take what you give me.

"No, that wasn't my question, Em. How much do you want?"

Um. I need enough to pay for my visa renewal every month, so $150 would last me for 6 months. Plus staff fees to pay for a few months out. And staff fees are $200 a month... so, I don't know, maybe about $950 would be generous.

"Baby Girl, my Wild One, whom I've chosen, how much money do you want Me to provide?"

I wrestled with His question for quite awhile, and it finally hit me--He wants to provide more than I need. He wants to give me above and beyond that which I ask for. So I'm praying in $8000. I don't know where it will come from, or how it will come, or how long it will take to get, but I believe that He can provide. I believe He has the means to support me while I'm here. This was His idea in the first place, and I believe that as long as I am obedient, He will provide. I do need to take action as well and send support letters out, but that's in the process. I'm trusting Him.

Jesus, I want $8000. I realize that some may think that's greedy, or too much. But it's not. You know what I need it for, what I will use it for, who I will bless with bits a pieces of it. I trust You to provide. 

I trust.

One-Way Ticket. Jesus is Gooooood.

I am three or four days from leaving this wonderful Island of Whidbey to head to another island that holds a precious warmth in my heart: the island of San Pedro, Belize. My heart constricts when I think of leaving my family behind indefinitely, of parting ways with my friends and those who I have grown up with. But the excitement and anticipation is even greater than the sadness.

I shared my testimony one week ago at my church, baring my heart to the community and inviting my audience to join me in worship with our Jesus after my story was told. My life has been one of pain and confusion, but Jesus has been faithful, and has never stopped loving on me. His breath has sweetened over me this past year; His presence has become more tangible, His voice more audible. 

One of my sisters was praying over me yesterday and as she was praying, one of the phrases she spoke to our Daddy caught me off guard, took my breath away.

"Daddy, thank You that our past is not just in the past, but that You are continuing to use it right now, and You will continue to use it in the future." That's not word-for-word, but that's the basic gist of what she said.

Jesus continues to use my past, my faults, my flaws, to bring Himself glory, and to heal this land. He's giving me the opportunity to take these experiences and to spread His love and His life in Belize. He's calling me to speak His good word over the hurting, the poor, the captive, the broken, the speechless, the weary, the angry, the rich and the powerful. He's taking me near to His heart and He is inviting me into His presence.

I have the wonderful opportunity to be on staff at YWAM Destination Paradise in Belize this next September. I'll be a small group leader to 9 girls. I will have the opportunity to speak Jesus' love into their lives, to listen to them, to be there for them, to love on them. I will have the privilege of teaching, of helping with team-building activities. But best of all, I will be doing what Jesus is calling me to do.

I'm headed to Belize in about three or four days. I'm buying a one-way ticket. I don't have the money for my plane ticket yet. But I believe. I believe He will provide, even if it's in the last moment. I've put a ticket on hold with American Airlines. It will only hold for 24 hours.

It costs $481.68.

Jesus has $481.68. I trust Him. I know that this is where I am supposed to be, and I know that He will provide, whether through people, or through a miracle. HE IS FAITHFUL.

Jesus, I surrender my financial state to You. I surrender every fear to You. I trust You. I trust You.

"I will depend on You. All of my hope is in You. I will depend on You.

I will have faith in You. All of my hope is in You. I will depend on You."

-United Pursuit Band

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I would love for you to join me in missions and in carrying out Jesus love! If you would like to partner with me in prayer, or financially, or just want to stay updated on what's going on in my life/walk with Jesus, please e-mail me for more information!

friedchicken177@gmail.com

Worship Night/Fundraiser

September 2012 marks an incredible point in life for me as one of my passions will be fulfilled. I am traveling to Belize, Central America to staff at a YWAM (Youth With a Mission) school on an island called San Pedro. While staffing, I have the opportunity to mentor college-age students, lead small groups, teach, help lead team-building activities, and usher the Spirit of God into the lives of the broken, hurting, joyful and lovely children of our Father!

My goal is to share a taste of the passion and love that I have for the children of the Most High, and to help you gather a glimpse of how I will be able to impact and strengthen their lives in Christ, as well as growing in mine.

Please come support me in prayer, spirit, and funding as I share about my journeys to Belize and South Africa last year, as well as speak about where I will be going and exactly what I will be doing this year when I head back down to Central America. I would absolutely love to meet with you and share with you, as well as answer questions that you may have for me!

Join me as I share my life story with you, and speak about how incredible God's freedom and joy have been in my life! My heart is ready to open up, and I am so excited to bare myself and share my testimony with you in an intimate setting. My desire is for you to experience the passion that I have for Jesus and for His direction in my life.

Later in the evening, there will be a worship session, to which you are all invited! Feel free to come or go as you please during this time, but I encourage you to stay and enter into the presence of our Jesus as we devote this time back to Him and His glory!

Thank you so much for all of your support! I look forward to seeing you soon and being able to open up and share the deepest parts of my heart with you.

Date/time: August 10, 2012 at 7pm

Location:  Christian Life Center Church, 1832 Scott Rd. Freeland, WA 98249

If you have any questions, please call or text me at: 360-320-3112    
Or e-mail me at: friedchicken177@gmail.com

Spread the word. :)

I may be Weak... but You're Yahweh.

Today is hard. 

Today I skipped church and had my own personal worship time at home, because it's quiet here and I needed to cry. 

Today, I'm having a really hard time trusting God. I'm having a hard time trusting that He will come through, that He will provide. I'm having a hard time trusting Him with my funds for this September. I'm having a hard time letting Him take my fear.

Today, I give up.

I give up that fear that's lurking in my mind, the one that keeps whispering that I won't make it to Belize in a few weeks. I give up that fear that says that my money isn't going to come in. I give up that fear that I'm not worth donating money or prayer or time to. 

This is God's plan, not mine. It wasn't my plan to leave for Belize again this September. I wanted to go to North Carolina, or back to Africa. It wasn't my plan to be here in Washington for the summer. It definitely wasn't my plan to be in missions. But it was God's plan. And really, that's enough for me. 

That's enough. God, You are enough. And so I give up these fears, I give up these irrational thoughts that You won't come through, that You don't know what You're doing, and I choose to trust. I choose to give it up, give me up, to You. Simply because You are Yahweh. And I am not. 

So here. Take me.

"God, I look to You. I won't be overwhelmed. Give me vision to see things like You do. God, I look to You. You're where my help comes from. Give me wisdom, You know just what to do. So I will love you..."

-God I Look To You, Bethel Church

"You, God, are my God,

    earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you, 

    my whole being longs for you,

in a dry and parched land

    where there is no water.

 I have seen you in the sanctuary 

    and beheld your power and your glory. 

 Because your love is better than life, 

    my lips will glorify you.

 I will praise you as long as I live, 

    and in your name I will lift up my hands. 

 I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; 

    with singing lips my mouth will praise you."

-Psalm 63:1-5 (NIV)

Finances, Prayer, Support. Going to the Zoo!

Hi friends!

As some of you may know, I'm headed back to Belize this next fall to staff at the Youth With a Mission (YWAM) school I attended last year. I will be staying at the YWAM Destination Paradise base in San Pedro, Ambergris Caye, Belize.

In writing this post, I am stepping out in boldness and asking that you would consider partnering with me in prayer. I have a few things I am praying for in specific, and I would absolutely love if you would join me in coming before our God and petitioning Him!


First, I would like to share a bit about what I will be doing as a staff member at the Destination Paradise base:

• The DP (Destination Paradise) YWAM base holds 3-4 Discipleship Training Schools throughout the year, so I will be working full time as school staff. 
• This means I have the opportunity to mentor students, lead academics, host leadership and team building exercises, direct small groups, and more.

There are a number of things that I need prayer for. Please check out the list below!

-First, there are finances that need to be taken care of. I need to budget about $700 a month while I am in Belize. I would greatly appreciate it if you would pray with me for the following financial situations!

• Plane Ticket: Right now, tickets are at about $660 for a round trip ticket to Belize from Seattle if I leave around the 19-20th to arrive in San Pedro on the 20-21st. (NOT included in the $700/month)
• $200 each month will go towards room and board. If I budget $700 dollars a month, that leaves $500 left to go towards the following things: 
• Water taxi (the Island’s main transportation, costing $7 Belize each time, about $3.50 USD) which is ridden a few times a week 
• Visa renewal costs $25 USD each month 
• Small group supplies/events including crafts, water taxi, etc. 
• Outreach; there’s always the possibility of leading an outreach with the students, for which I will need to save. 
• Additional living costs; including toiletries, bug spray, water bottles (the water is not drinkable), food, etc. 

-Health Insurance; About $350 is needed to pay health insurance from September 2012-February 2013. Please pray that that money would come in as I work and receive support.

-A laptop; I am currently petitioning God about acquiring a laptop for my travels, or for the funds to buy one. A laptop would be of incredible use to me while staffing in Belize, as I would use it for communication with my supporters; to keep up blog posts and answer/send e-mails back and forth to keep my home community involved in every aspect of my journey and growth in the Lord.

-I would also use it to take notes during the weekly lectures in the school, and to perform other projects I am assigned as a staffer. 

-Spiritual readiness: As I have the opportunity to mentor and help direct the lives of college age youth, I will be entering into a spiritual battle that is intense and challenging. Please pray that God would continue to prepare my heart and spirit for what I will encounter while in Belize. Please pray that I would look to Him continually and guard my heart. My desire is to reflect Him while staffing and directing these students closer to Him and His love and His heart and path for them.

-Students: Please pray spiritual protection over the students as they prepare to attend this upcoming school, and as they ready themselves to head off onto what could possibly be the most life-changing event of their history. Pray for protection from the lies of the enemy as he tries to take them out in any way he can; insecurity, fears, anger, frustration, and as he pinpoints their weaknesses and preys on them. Come against the enemy in the name of Jesus with me, as we fight for these students!

THANK YOU! I appreciate your prayer support so incredibly much, and I am so thankful for you and your heart. If you would like more information about the school and about my part in it, please e-mail me at friedchicken177@gmail.com. I would love to share more with you!

Thank you so much, again, for partnering with me. Let's wreck this world for our Jesus!